In last week's Leadership notes I wrote for the second week in a row to once again encourage each of us to remember those impacted by the mudslide that occurred in Oso, Washington - and to keep them in our thoughts and prayers.
(pictured above is Washington State Patrol Senior Chaplain Mike Neil with First Responders at the Oso mudslide recovery location)
During these past weeks I have had the opportunity to be on-site in the slide zone for a couple of days to assist the Washington State Patrol Senior Chaplain in providing encouragement to first responders as well as several of the families who have been directly impacted by this event. In doing so I have been reminded of an important leadership skill:
the willingness and ability to simply listen.
My experience at Oso has provided an opportunity to reflect on listening as a leadership skill - and thankfully, a skill that we can all develop continuously. Here are some listening-skill ideas that I have observed:
- Ask Open-ended Questions. Questions that start with the word what, how, or when can lead to better answers than questions that elicit a simple “yes” or “no” (short answers do not reveal much).
- Listen for verbal clues. Look for what is emphasized when the person is speaking - any important thoughts, feelings, ideas.
- Watch for nonverbal clues. Eyebrows, hands, eyes, and pauses: these features all show expression and can lead to better understanding.
- Be mindful of our own reactions. When a person says something that sounds interesting, curious, or surprising, we can nod or smile. If the person says something obvious or unpleasant, we can seek to manage our own reaction, and communicate that we are still listening.
- Focus on the words, not the person – and seek to avoid being distracted by the circumstances or the person’s appearance.
- Seek to periodically repeat back to the person what we are hearing - and ask if we have correctly understood what they said.
- Sometimes silence is golden. There are times when simply listening without a verbal response is best. This can even be appropriate when the person is not speaking. Certainly at the Oso Mudslide, there were many instances where standing with a person in silence was not only appropriate, it was powerful. There are times when our presence speaks louder than words.
Needless to say, in any leadership or leadership support role, it is crucial to stay in touch with those we are appointed to serve. This is especially true for the senior-most leaders, as it can be easy to allow our separated function to slide us into a posture where we are out of touch with our “customers.” And we should not be deceived into the slumbering attitude that it is only the verdant freshmen leaders who fall prey to a growing distance between themselves and those they serve.
Even experienced leaders must make the conscious decision to stay in touch with – and listen to – those they serve.
Being at the Oso mudslide has been a life-changing experience for me – and has provided an active reminder of the power of being a good listener. And with that in mind, let’s continue to keep the first responders and families in the affected region in our hearts, in our thoughts, and in our prayers.