My wife and I had lunch recently with a young woman who was promoted into a significant leadership position. She wanted to ask some questions about areas of leadership that she was facing in her new position. As we listened, we offered our perspective (when asked). The conversation took a turn when she asked her last question, “Now that I am the Leader of the Team in the office, I find that I am all alone. I don’t have any peers at work because I am now their leader. I am discovering that leadership can be isolating – and actually quite lonely.”
So we gently responded, “Yes, it can. And as long as you are the leader in that office you will never again be ‘one of the gang’ because you are their leader.” As the conversation continued we proposed several ideas that could be helpful in mitigating the isolation she was experiencing in the leadership role that was now hers.
Here are some of those suggestions in a more generic form, so that we can ponder this topic together:
- When you are the leader, it is important to remain connected to the members of the team; the difference is that from now on you can be “one with them” not “one of them.”
- Join a small group of other leaders in the community…these can be as select as something like the YPO’s (Young Presidents Organization) or as common as a local service club (Rotary, etc.). Within these settings, it is encouraged to become part of a smaller peer group.
- Find a mentor – often there are older men or women who are willing to invest in the success of other younger/newer leaders.
- Hire a coach – although this has an economic commitment aspect, a capable executive coach can be a good solution to isolation.
- Involve your spouse if you have one. It is actually quite important for family health to find the “sweet spot” for including a spouse in the day-to-day life of our leadership roles. Great perspective can emerge for the objectivity this provides.
Certainly there are other options for addressing the reality of isolation in leadership. The above thoughts are a good start. What have you found to be helpful in this regard? Are there any cautions you would include? Let us know your thoughts…